With Halloween fast approaching, Homer Simpson and the family are gearing up for the festivities. Of course, we are all looking forward to the Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror tales this year, a traditional rite of passage into the macabre. But that got us to thinking about just what kind of advice or tips would Homer have to share with his fellow revelers? Well, not surprising, Homer indeed had a suggestion or two (actually, closer to 25, but we have limited space here). Simple and straight to the point, Homer Jay Simpson presents his personal rules for successful trick-or-treating.

Rule #1 Halloween is About Donuts

Don’t let anyone else try to convince you that Halloween is about scary stuff because it isn’t. It’s about good, tasty, delicious stuff – like donuts. If you really want to liven up the neighborhood and make sure all the kids will love you, try mixing up the treats you give away to trick-or-treaters. While donuts may or may not be a good idea for you, something different and unique is always welcomed.

Rule #2 Go Where the Candy is At

D’oh! If the rich folks where you live are anything like Monty Burns, then you’re gonna have a hard time getting any candy at all, much less the good stuff. Plus, have you seen how big rich people’s yards are? You’ll never get to the front door before they run you off. Instead, if you are going to go outside of your own neighborhood, choose a place where a lot of kids live. Lots of kids equal lots of people giving out candy on Halloween.

Rule #3 Looking Good is Being Good

You don’t have to have a costume as fancy as Krusty’s, but you do want to look good when you go out. The cuter and more adorable you are in your costume, the more donuts you are likely to get. And dress comfortably too. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of walking, put on a good pair of sneakers and make sure you can see properly through any mask you might be wearing.

Rule #4 Travel Light

Bart, Lisa and Maggie make up the largest group the kids will trick or treat with and it’s a good idea to follow. The reason is simple enough – you are likely to get more candy this way. When you are with a large group of kids, the folks handing out the candy all of a sudden want to only give everybody just one item a piece. ONE item – that’s insane or at least against the law. But when you go alone or with just one or two other kids…ahhhhhh…

Rule # 5 The Magic Hour

Trick-or-treating is a marathon and not a sprint. You have to take your time and know how the system works so you come away with the biggest haul possible. Marge thinks this is just being greedy, but we all know it’s really about being strategical! In the first few hours before dark, you can be the first one to hit the houses. You are likely to benefit with nice selections because the candy hasn’t been given away yet and everyone is still all excited. As it starts getting dark, this is when everybody else starts to come out. This is a good time to take a fast food break to avoid those large groups of kids that will be roaming around. Did you know places like McDonald’s give away stuff to trick-or-treaters? Wait about an hour or so and you will be in the home stretch. Most of the revelers have gone home by now and you can pick over what’s left. Folks with too much candy left over will give away gobs of it now. Plus, the ones who have run out of candy will desperately search for something nice to hand out so they won’t feel guilty about leaving you empty handed and you just might get donuts (or something almost as good)!

And there you have it! If Homer believes in it, then in the famous words of that other well known bald personality, “so let it be written, so let it be done.” As an aside, as you’re getting prepared for your own Halloween festivities, from trick-or-treating to themed parties, you should take a peek at some of the cool holiday offerings at Karmakiss that can make any occasion that much more enjoyable, unique and memorable.

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